Adoption

It seems as though I've been reading a lot of blogs where "adoption" is a BIG topic. Reading your entries have reminded me of my own journey back 15 years ago. Of course it seems just like yesterday, but my daughter will be 15 in October.

and when you open up the announcement-this is what you get

And yes, I wonder and think about her every living second. The what's, the who's, the where's, the when's, her likes, her dislikes, her favorite color, favorite food, does she like sports, if so what kind--so on and so on. By now, I'm sure you can tell we have a closed adoption. Back in 1993, open adoptions were just coming out so to speak...we had what you call a "semi-open"..we knew one another by first names only and had one meeting, when I was about 6 months pregnant. Of course, if I had it to do all over again, it would not be the same. I don't get updates anymore, as the adoptive family have asked that I move on. But, assured me, that my daughter is loved beyond measure. So, with that, and the faith of my Lord & Savior, I have to lean on that for now, until we hopefully meet again. I believe in adoption and think that adoption is a loving gift from above, I just wish some things would change in the "legal"aspect of it. I thank GOD each and every day for my daughter's adoptive parents. With my sons being 12 & 13, I often think about the things they are doing that she's probably already gone through and did. Thinking how she handled certian situations, and how she continues to handle day-to-day teenage/girl issues. God has truly brought me this far and has kept his loving arms wrapped around me and my soul througout these last 15 years. Back in 1993, I can honestly tell you, that I really believed that I would not live through the pain of placing my child, but again, GOD has been carrying me throughout these years. Reminds me of the "Footprints in the Sand" poem.

Here, do I look petrafied or what? This is the day I relinqished my rights. This was just days after having her by c-section. Plus, giving her away about killed me. Oh by the way in case you are wondering, I was 20 years old. I'm holding my baby and a letter I wrote to the adoptive parents. Of course, they have a formal letter from me to her in a keepsake box that they will give to her. When, I don't know. Soon, I will try and post the letter from the adoptive parent's they gave me back about a month before she was born. Very bittersweet.